My dream

Last night I had an amazing dream. I have been confused about it until I started talking to my mom about it. I have been very very very upset about my father passing away the past couple of days. after a few breakdowns, I had this dream. It was surreal, it was what I hosestly think, someone talking to me.
Here it is.....
I had dreamed not a normal one, where you see everything like a movie, except for the beginning of my dream. My family was around my father and he just plain disappeared. We looked for him everywhere. We finally found him, and he was with another family. I was myself, but I was feeling everything for my father, I was feeling as if I were him-feeling what he was feeling. So, when he was with this family, I was feeling so so confused, In my dream, it was as if he had a head injury and couldn't remember stuff, but he could remember there was something odd going on. It was a horrible horrible feeling. Sad, and trying so so so SO very hard to concentrate and remember stuff. I felt bad for not remembering and just sad. Not to mention pain, I actually was in pain, as if my whole body had a migraine. Anyway, At this point, I really really really wanted to wake up-in my dream I knew I was feeling my dad's feelings but I was by myself, and searching for him hard, everywhere. I felt as though my family was too, but they were no where around. At this point the last name ( I KNEW in my dream it was a last name) Sneddon (or snetton-more of a dd sound) kept glaringly popping into my head. I managed to wake up wide awake feeling, and I looked around the hotel room just for my mom, I looked at her and just went back to sleep.
I fell straight back into the "dream" after I did, I finally found my dad :) I could see him somewhat, but it was more of a haze, I could feel his hand. I "stole" him basically from the other family, and my family was in the background trying to tell him that he was a kotila, he was with his right family rather than the one we just took him from. At this point sneddon came into my head again a couple of times. I didn't see any of my family or hear them, and just felt them thinking it. I was the main person talking to him, and he did not remember details, but when we were speaking-he said "I'm so sorry, I don't remember some stuff-but I'm okay, now I'm with my original family." "I'm happy. I will see you." (I'm not positive which order it was said in) At this time I thought he was talking about being back with the kotila's. After telling my dream, I realize that's not it. The feelings I was feeling through him when he finally found his original family but didn't remember his original family were AMAZING. It was calm and just plain happy. Love, immense love. He hugged me and all I felt was love and the feeling of being happy. It was crazy, it was great.
After I woke up, I was quiet all morning long. I was kind of content, but I didn't think it was because of the dream. I then asked my mom about my grandmother's name. In my dream, everytime snetton/sneddon came up I thought of her. My mom said her maiden name was sneddon. My grandma had passed away the week we found out of the cancer-about 2 months before my dad. Anyway, later on during the day, I told her about this wierd dream I had, and half way through telling it I was remembering it vividly, just every little thing so fresh in my mind. It was then that I realized that it wasn't just a dream-it wasn't even dream-like and we both agreed that dad was talking to me. I then got upset and played the dream over and over in my mind, just trying to remember everything. I finally stopped trying and.....I still remember. I was just worried about forgetting dad-not my dream. It's feels like I moved over a hump in the grieving process in some weird way. I haven't worried at all about forgetting him, not once until today. I love him so much and miss him immensely, and I'm worried he won't visit me again like that, but I really hope so. Because, during that dream, it was the first time I felt content, relieved, and happy, for my dad. I love you dad, please visit everyone like that-especially mom..please? :)

A message for my Dad

Dad,

I know how tough this may be. Well, in reality, I don't. Although, truth be told....no one really lives in reality. We hope , wish, dream, and discover. Discover that maybe our wishes won't come true, or, maybe they will. Maybe our dreams aren't going to turn into reality, or maybe we really do see the future. We hope....We hope for things to happen. If they don't, we wish that they would have and we dream about the amazing feeling we would get when they do happen.
My wish is for everything to be perfect and happy again. A simple little wish that is used on probably a ton of shooting stars. I know at this point we can wish, but honestly I would prefer to live in now...reality.

I love you, Dad. Your strength is more amazing than I could ever imagine. The strength of this family is truly something amazing as well.
Mom is really a woman you want on your side! She has been there with you through the good, the bad and the ugly. She has been there for all of us through tough and tougher times. I'm not sure if she was born with her will to be strong and amazing or if the two of you together had brought it out over the years. At times I look at the two of you and smile, I have always wished to have what the two of you have. I've seen the glances between you two and there's no fooling anyone that the love that is there will conquer the world. I could never ask for better parents, or better friends. When people ask me about my best friends, I talk about you two.