I'm going to use myself as a subject for this blog, might be a bit too honest, but I'm nothing but that. I'm currently in a position I should not to be in...I'm in a position to believe one or the other with very strong and torn feelings. Look through facade? Is there a facade there or not? Do I deserve this? Absolutely not. Or do I? Is this the effect of karma? Is karma truly real if you believe in it?
It comes to the question...do you trust your heart, and when does your heart steer you wrong? Does it ever? (I'm definitely not elaborating on this, that'll take me all day and 5 pages)
KARMA: 1. Hinduism, Buddhism. action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman. Compare bhakti (def. 1), jnana.
KARMA: 2. Theosophy. the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.
You would think I believe whole-heartedly in Karma, as I love the eastern religions/philosophies. (While Buddhism is a direct connection to Karma, I study a path...not a religion. Taoists believe that people are by nature, good, and that one should be kind to others simply because such treatment will probably be reciprocated. This is my way of thinking, which might help some of you clear up the way in which I act, treat, forgive & trust others so easily.)
I sometimes wonder, if Karma just a manifesation of your own work? You feel deep down inside your conscience that you should be punished for wrongdoings towards others. Even if you don't, your body holds pain, regret, sorrow, anger and several other negative feelings. Your body has the capability to remember certain instances even when you don't, we are creatures of the earth, there's a hell of a alot more going on inside of us than we think. Ever wonder why we fester up emotions during the oddest times? Possibly our bodies trying to eradicate the feelings that we truly don't need stored away. Albeit what do we do as a society? Hide it. Stuff it down deep! Make it disappear! Show no emotion and you will be content, or at least trick others into thinking you're content.
Tricking others is something I've never been good at and I am grateful as shit of that. Being an open book is not high on anyone's list, but, you ask me how I'm doing....Damn right I'm going to tell you. YOU'LL KNOW! Haven't you ever heard anyone say "Don't ask if you don't care!" Well, don't.
Guess what else? I don't care what anyone thinks about that. I'm a nerd, I'm a dork, I wear it more than proudly. I'm uncomfortable a lot and I say dumb things because of it.....I wouldn't have it any other way. Have you ever seen someone tell a joke and you hear crickets chirping afterwards...the awkward heavy feeling weighing in the air? Did Jenn just tell a joke? Knock, knock....ABSOLUTELY!
Ranting and raving with an underlying positivity and an outer layer of dry emotion must the topic today, eh? Maybe a little more insight simply on my own POV? I figure that hearing another's POV actually helps to strengthen yours. I've noticed that if someone doesn't believe in themselves/their point of view, they'll get defensive when challenged. If you're one of those who gets defensive when something's brought up, maybe that means you should step back and take a long hard look at your thought process/beliefs/yourself, there must be something you're not truly believing in. Once you find it, I'm pretty sure there's no more tricking others into thinking your content anymore, it will just happen. Won't THAT feel good! Mmmm, like peace & heaven enveloping your body in happiness (even though a lot of us agreed that we're meeting in hell & having a party, that party's still on).
Ahhh, Lao Tzu, thanks for the little thoughts today, I was feeling a bit unbalanced. Balance is the essence of life, our bodies are trained at the lowest level to keep homeostasis.
Homeostasis: the tendency of a system, especially the physiological system of higher animals, to maintain internal stability, owing to the coordinated response of its parts to any situation or stimulus that would tend to disturb its normal condition or function.
Long story short: balance. You know when you're off balance. Fix it. Do the right thing. Everyone knows deep down in their heart & their gut what that iS. If you feel a tinge or something odd...change what you're doing.
“Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.”
Over & out....
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